Tuesday, October 2, 2012
MRI Date
Hi everyone,
So just found out that my MRI will be on Thursday. I don't know if I am ready for this.
I am dreading the results. Surgery I the last thing I want. It scares me to death. I don't know what to do, what to expect. I would ask you all to pray... But that won't help anything. If the muscle is torn... It's torn. Nothing will change that.
It has been almost a full year since I first sprained my stupid ankle. It makes me so mad. It has been the most frustrating 365 days of my life! I have been mostly laid up, useless, and missed far too many events, let alone church services. Right now I just want to cry/scream.
The worst part is that 10 months of our first year together have been revolving around my ankle. It has been so hard. Our first year was kinda ruined for me because of my injury. And that's it you know? I will NEVER get that back.
And people really don't get it. That is an awful reality. "well you can do it if you sit for a bit and take a break"
It doesn't work that way. Once my ankle starts throbbing that's it. I am done for several hours at least. It takes a long time.
I am so tired of this.
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Oh Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteMy heart just aches for you as I read this.
I've had 3 surgeries - 2 on my head - and each one has scared me to pieces beforehand. After the third one I felt SO much better that it was definitely worth it. All of it!
"For better or for worse...in sickness and in health..." sometimes comes sooner than later. I know when we married I never thought that my husband would have to take care of the house and the chidlren 24/7 for 2 years while I lay in bed unable to function. I wasn't 35 yet! My heart hurts daily for the time that I've lost with my children (they were 2-4yrs old at the time) while they are small. I can't get that time back. I was able to do so little they actually quit asking me to play with them. Because I physically couldn't.
What I do have is that I am still their Mom and they still love me - for being me. Not for being someone I'm "supposed" to be.
Open your hands and your heart wide to catch that grace that God so freely gives and we so do not deserve! That's the hardest part of the whole deal.
We'll pray for you and for your tests on Thursday.
HUGS,
Lea
Thankyou. :) Your words mean alot.
DeleteRebecca, we serve a GREAT PHYSICIAN. I have seen God heal some very incurable diseases. My mom had a severe heart condition that should have killed her. When she found out, she told friends and family to pray and they did. When she eventually went back to the heart doctor, he told her that it was a miracle...he then asked what she was doing to help herself. When she told him that she had churches across the country praying for her, he was stunned. Only GOD can heal like that and I am going to pray for miraculous healing for YOU!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is the things we don't understand that help us grow closer to the Lord. Hang onto HIM and let Him lead you, comfort and guide you during this time of uncertainty and fear. ((((HUGS!!)))
Rebecca! Don't get discouraged! Prayer CAN change things- God has the ultimate control over everything. And while I empathize for you and having all these difficulties this first year of marriage, hard times draw people together, and I imagine your marriage is so much stronger because of it! Praying for you!
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about what you re going through with your ankle.
ReplyDeleteI feel led to share my own ankle story. I was 8 month pregnant with my third baby. My pregnancies are high risk and I take injections to prevent blood clots and take injections of insulin. My husband insisted on getting a new puppy. I fell down the stairs trying to stop the puppy from running out the front door. I broke one leg and sprained the other one and tore all of the ligaments. The baby was okay but I had to get a cast on one leg and surgery in the other to put a screw in to put the ligaments back together. I wasn't able to walk for 3 months and delivered the baby while still unable to use either leg. I have no family in the area and my husband is not helpful, so although the doctor wanted me to stay in a rehab hospital after my time in the regular hospital I went home anyway because someone had to take care of my other kids and the house. I cooked, cleaned took care of kids from my wheelchair. A physical therapist came to the house to teach me how to scoot up the stairs on my bottom and I slid around putting away laundry once I made it up. I couldn't get from bed to the wheelchair or from the wheelchair to the commode without help, which I often didn't have.
It is 6 years later. I was never able to go to physical therapy because I couldn't bring a newborn and I had no one to care for her. My ankle is still weak and after a day of hard cleaning around the house I can barely walk. It is hard to go up and down stairs, but let me tell you, once I could use my legs again I felt unstoppable!
I tell this all to you to remind you how good God has been to you to provide you with a kind and loving husband who supports you and many people around you who are available to help out. His plan is perfect and this time you have had with your husband has probably helped you to grow and reaffirm your committment to "better or worse."
Dear RT,
DeleteI am sorry you went through all of that and are still dealing with it. My mother raised us with a chronic injury as well (two car accidents) I cannot express how hard it was to watch her struggle and still struggle. It breaks my heart. I encourage you to train your kids to help out with household chores,especially when the pain gets bad. There is always something they can do! :)
blessings!
~Rebecca