I have gone back and forth about posting this but I feel like I should say something about the Duggar sex abuse scandal going on right now.
If you are under 18 years of age please note that I will be discussing mature topics below.
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The new police report continues to raise questions about why Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar failed to act in alerting authorities despite Josh’s repeated confessions of sexual molestation and why they didn’t do more to protect their daughters. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar could have faced up to six years in prison for their actions and been charged with Permitting Abuse of a Minor (Arkansas Code 5-27-221).
The sheriff’s document also shows the extent of Josh’s abuse. “ Josh told James that this had occurred 4 to 5 times and had occurred as [sister] was sleeping on the couch.”
To put this into perspective the molestation began sometime in 2002 when Josh 14- his sisters were
12, 10, 9, 8, 4 years of age at the time.
Jessa and Jill have officially said they were two of his victims.
How sexual abuse affects children Children who were sexually victimized by other minors, including inter-sibling abuse, show largely the same problems as children victimized by adults, including anxiety disorders, depression, substance abuse, suicide, eating disorders, post traumatic stress disorder, sleep disorders and difficulty trusting peers in the context of relationships. The victim often has distorted beliefs about what happened to them, sometimes even thinking they were the initiator or that they went through the act voluntarily.
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As someone who had a family friend’s son touch me inappropriately several times when I was 4 and he was 6 or 7 I can tell you that this hits home for me. I dealt with unnecessary guilt for many years about what happened. Through the love of my family and husband I have finally found peace and healing. I know what happened to me is nowhere near the extent of what the Duggar girls went through (to be honest it is fairly mild compared to this) but I know the emotional damage from the false guilt one can feel in these situations.
I’ve never been a fan of the Duggars, never really cared one way or another. But now I care. Sharing this personal story was a difficult choice. But if I can save one child from the pain I went through it is all worth it.
While I do understand that Josh WAS a child when this first happened; the fact that he did it again and again AFTER he confessed the first time then it becomes extremely problematic. I believe that what Josh did was wrong, that he knew at the time it was wrong and that his parents failed to protect their daughters, failed to get the girls proper counseling, failed to get Josh REAL help and are failing now at focusing on the victims rather than the abuser. Jessa defending Josh shows just how deeply she has been abused and blindsided by her brother’s behavior and her parents obvious choice of choosing their son over their daughters. I believe in forgiveness but I don’t believe that the victims should EVER, justify,explain away, belittle or excuse the actions of their abuser.
You are so right Rebecca. I'm so thankfull that you can see that and so disturbed that the Duggar girls can not. Josh can receive forgiveness, because of Jesus we all can, but without an acknowledgement of wrong, no healing can be achieved. I'm very sorry that for them that this has been brought up again but if it had caused them to deal with it, it could have been a blessing, Unfortunately, it doesn't look like that will happen.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see this post when you originally posted it, but now that I've read it I thought it was important to respond. I wish more Christians like yourself were willing to speak out on this topic. It seems like so many Christians on social media are characterizing the situation as a left-wing liberal media attack, and they're defending the Duggars' awful behavior and decision-making.
ReplyDeleteThe objective truth is that the Duggars are public figures, which means their very public actions are open to public scrutiny. They made statements on TV that contradict a police report that, for better or worse, was made public.
I agree with you entirely that they went too far in explaining away actions, hiding behind the concept of forgiveness and failing to admit they may have made the wrong choices that likely led to further emotional damage for their daughters. This is not about the world vs. the Duggars. It's about making sure children, who are especially voiceless and vulnerable, get the help they need.