Apparently Blogger has officially changed over the dashboard and everything else so.... now I have to re-learn it! :(
Anyways, things have been rather hectic lately, Physical therapy on my ankle has been going okay, not great. The therapist said I still had a tendon that was very swollen. When I go for my folllow-up appointment in a few weeks they may schedule an MRI if the tendon is still swollen. I am *trying* not to worry about it, but it is hard. The last thing I want is surgery.
This whole ankle injury has been so very depressing. Dealing with a chronic injury really changes your way of life. I can't just go to the store, or go for a walk, or go on an outing. I have a limited amount of time before I simply cannot walk because of the pain.
Going shopping has changed, I have to figure out exactly what I need, where it is, and the best and shortest route to locate each item. It is very frustrating when I can't find something so I have to walk back and look. I can hear the clock ticking on how much longer I can be standing/walking before the pain starts.
The worst part is the fact that I feel like I am repeating now my mom's life. She had a Chronic injury after a car accident when I was 4 years old. I had to watch her struggle EVERY DAY with her pain and trying to keep up with her pregnancies, babies, homeschooling and housework. I had to watch her break down in tears over how she couldn't do things anymore. She LOVED gardening, and now she was unable to Garden. She often admitted that she felt like she was somehow less of a wife and mother because she was unable to do everything to keep our home running.
So many events, trips and plans as I was growing up had to be canceled or modified because of days when her back was so bad she couldn't move at all.
I know how awful it was watching her trapped in her pain. And now I feel like I have to go through the exact same thing. I have to be the wife and someday mom who is struggling with pain, struggling to keep house, struggling to get through trips with my kids.
So...thats what has been on my mind lately.
God bless,
~Rebecca
Pin It Now!
The worst part is the fact that I feel like I am repeating now my mom's life. She had a Chronic injury after a car accident when I was 4 years old. I had to watch her struggle EVERY DAY with her pain and trying to keep up with her pregnancies, babies, homeschooling and housework. I had to watch her break down in tears over how she couldn't do things anymore. She LOVED gardening, and now she was unable to Garden. She often admitted that she felt like she was somehow less of a wife and mother because she was unable to do everything to keep our home running.
So many events, trips and plans as I was growing up had to be canceled or modified because of days when her back was so bad she couldn't move at all.
I know how awful it was watching her trapped in her pain. And now I feel like I have to go through the exact same thing. I have to be the wife and someday mom who is struggling with pain, struggling to keep house, struggling to get through trips with my kids.
So...thats what has been on my mind lately.
God bless,
~Rebecca
Rebecca -- so sorry you are struggling. I think one thing that is important to remember is that your life DOESN'T need to be the same as your mom's -- you know the consequences of having an injury and while many would be defeated and not pursue treatment, you are being aggressive with managing it, mindful about your reactions and managing your feelings while you are still young. It's easy to let our brain roll down that anxiety path of "what if this...w hat if that...." -- take on only what you need to worry about TODAY. Don't collect a lifetime of worries to try to manage right now... You've got enough on your plate! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know you Rebecca, but I do follow your blog, and just thought that maybe these verses would be a comfort for you - 'My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me'. - 2 Cor 12:9.
ReplyDeleteCan I just second what Stephanie said? I think it's even harder to pres onward when you know what it *could* be a few years down the road.
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to focus on what you can do when you can't do so much and, if your mind is like mine, it tends to run away with the worst-case-scenario.
I also think we have almost too high a standards for ourselves sometimes - I'd love a nicely decorated, spotless house but I can't physically keep up with it and, honestly, my husband doesn't care! Clean, tidy and what we like is just fine,thank you very much. And if the only time my baseboards get dusted is when I have the energy to do it, so what?
Focus on what you can do - write out everything you can do! I did this when, right after I was finally "better" after my diagnosis for my chronic sinus issues, I severely broke a toe and had to sit all weekend with my foot evelated. I couldn't drive for a few days and I had to really take it easy for about 6weeks. When I wrote down what I could do, I realized there was so much! Why I didn't do that when I was in the middle of the undaignosed illness piece I don't know. Try it!
You might be plesantly surprised!
Hugs and Prayers,
Lea
Rebecca- I am sorry that you are struggling. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteRebecca -- you are young and you will heal from your injury. You are doing all the right things -- seeking help from a medical professional and taking care not to reinjure yourself. And just be grateful you DON'T have toddlers to run after right now, and the fact that you are strategic enough to plan your trips to the store and other errands shows what a good planner you are and what a great parent you will make when the time comes. Obviously no one wants to have surgery, but you should consider it if you have the time and finances to do it (well, if it will be a reasonable fix, as well). Hang in there!
ReplyDelete