Torn Wings

I found this Zebra Swallowtail Butterfly near my apartment last week. I was so excited to see her fluttering around and tried to snap a photo before she flew away. I only captured one photo, and it was not even a very good quality photo. 

When I later uploaded the photo to my computer and enlarged it I was SHOCKED to see the huge tears in her wings.While I was trying to photograph this butterfly I had never noticed the wing tear, I was far too excited to see a big beautiful butterfly. 

I debated whether to keep the photo or delete it. The photo is poor quality and the butterfly is far from perfect. I started to wonder what awful circumstance had damaged her fragile wings...and then I started thinking about the fact that she was alive, flying and feeding. The more I stared at the picture I started thinking...I am like this butterfly.

I have been through a lot in life, I have been "damaged" by situations. I still have scars from my past, and struggles I have to face everyday. I have my health problems, my anxiety disorder...in many ways my "wings" are definitely torn. 

So many times I want to give up. The pain, the depression, the anxiety -it overwhelms me. I keep trudging along, seeking answers and trying to heal. 

I hope, that just like I was excited and entranced by this beautiful butterfly, that people see me first for my good qualities, my character...and not initially my "scars".

When I chose the name for this blog, I had no special reason to pick "Butterfly Days" other than the fact that I LOVED butterflies and I like decorating with butterfly themed items and pictures. As I have continued to blog about my struggles I am glad I chose that title. Butterflies are a common symbol of hope. They go through a beautiful transformation process from caterpillar to a butterfly. They go through a complete and total change in their lifetime. 

I don't know what God has planned for me, I often ask Him, "Why do I have to be sick? Why do things have to be so hard? Why did you allow that circumstance in my past?" 

It is hard to maintain hope. But I am trying. I am thankful that I saw that butterfly. I am thankful that I was able to capture that picture.

And I am thankful for all of your prayers! 

Love, 

~Rebecca

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