A Very Honest Post

Just returned home from getting the MRI done. We will receive the results by next week. 

In the meantime- I am just going to get completely and brutally honest. 

I feel like the worst wife ever. 

And I hate those feelings. 

But when you are bedridden, in severe pain- unable to dress, feed or wash yourself, life becomes very bleak. My husband has been an excellent nurse- but I want to start being a "couple" again. I want to be able to do stuff together, go on dates, etc. 

Long story short, I miss living life. Right now I am just existing -and that's a miserable way to live. I want to enjoy the fall, go out with Justin, play with my bunny, start making Christmas gifts. I want to be able to sleep again - instead of sleeping long, weird or disjointed hours. 

I miss blogging so much, I miss my photography. I have two girls on standby for their senior portraits but it looks like I am going to have to give it up. 

I am lonely, tired, discouraged and worn out. 

I know this just a raw post, and brutally honest. But this is my real life. I would love to paint a picture of bubbles and roses of a carefree newlywed wife, but it's not reality. 

Your prayers are coveted. ~ Rebecca

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Update!

MRI has been approved and scheduled for Friday! Thank you all for your prayers❤ 

My mom visited me with my siblings yesterday, we watched a movie together. It was so nice to have company. My mom also cleaned my kitchen which was sorely neglected and it was so very kind of her to do so. 

Thankful for my family, for my husband, for all my praying friends, and for all my readers! You all are helping me get through this. 

Love, Rebecca

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Update on my Back

Hi Everyone, 

    Just a quick update on what is going on with me. So on Saturday night, around midnight I went back to the ER. The pain was still terrible and I couldn't stand it any longer. I was given a stronger pain med and sent home. We didn't get back till close to 3am. I was so tired and in so much pain. 

I did see a doctor today and they took X-rays. The doctor said that there was a possibility for arthritis, however he felt the pain might be muscular. I need to get an MRI. 

Please pray our insurance will approve the MRI and that we can start getting answers. I am tired of being stuck in bed and the pain is very difficult to deal with. I can barely move around without shooting pain in my back and down my legs. Normal daily life is impossible at this point. I am tired of just existing- I want to start actually living! 

Thank you for your prayers, Rebecca 

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Going on a Semi-Hiatus

Hello readers! 

I am sad to say that this blog will be on a hopefully brief semi- hiatus. 

I have been dealing with severe back pain making it difficult to type. 

I will try to post updates when I can, I am hoping to see a doctor on Monday and get a referral for an MRI.

Prayers are very much appreciated. 

Thankyou! 

~Rebecca

You can contact me at jubsjuream2011@gmail.com

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A Tale in Which I Get My First Ambulance Ride

Had my first ambulance ride today- 

Long story very short, I was supposed to go to the doctors for annoying hip and for back pain but when  I woke up this morning I had a very difficult time walking/standing/sitting without intense pain. Soooo my doctor told me to not come in and call an ambulance and go to the Emergency Room. The EMTs were very kind and managed to get me up the hill on a stretcher to the ambulance. Once in the ER I was examined and a nurse gave me a shot to help ease the pain (it HURT) and I will be having an MRI at a later date. I am home now. What a crazy day.

Keep praying as we try to figure out what is wrong.

love, Rebecca

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Sister Time!

My sister Stephanie slept over our apartment this past week.

We stopped at a friends house to see some horses!! The horses came right up to us and were whinnying! 

Justin played Kirby with her on his old Nintendo 64

We had a great time! 

God bless, 

~Rebecca

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August Photos

Due to the back pain and other various health problems lately I have severely slowed down my attempts to get photography jobs. Instead I have just photographed random bugs, flowers or even critters I have come across. I have found this to be very enjoyable and I have captured some very beautiful photos. 

The flower above was found near our apartment, I was trying to photograph the flower when the bumblebee flew by. I have a healthy respect for bees so I was a little nervous to try to get in any closer, but the photo turned out beautiful!  

This little guy was probably only about 2-3" in length. He gave me a very hard time! Finally at one point he had hopped onto a dog leash and I was able to lift the dog leash and get the little guy into frame.

After a bad rainstorm I had gone over my mother-in-laws house in hopes of seeing a butterfly on her butterfly-bush. After waiting almost an hour this was the only butterfly that ever showed up. 

The butterfly bush

This is a fully bloomed knock-out Rosebush by my apartments. These bushes have bloomed all summer long

A new rose bud on the same bush

My in-law's cat Nimbus is quite the character. I adore this kitty to pieces and he seems to like me back! 

My in-law's dog Shadow. He is a beagle-husky-and who-knows-what-else mix. He is an absolute sweetheart! 

More of my work can be viewed here and here

I hope you enjoyed the photos! 

God bless, 

~Rebecca

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