Happy Easter!

JuReam

I created this today! 

Anyways- I hope you all have a great Easter weekend!! 

God Bless, 

~Rebecca

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To This Day

To This Day- A Spoken Poem 

By Shane Koyzcan

"When I was a kid I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing.

I thought they were both pork chops and because my grandmother thought it was cute

and because they were my favorite she let me keep doing it- not really a big deal.

One day, before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees,

I fell out of a tree and bruised the right side of my body. I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it because I was afraid I’d get in trouble for playing somewhere that I shouldn’t have been.

A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise and I got sent to the principal’s office

from there I was sent to another small roomwith a really nice lady who asked me all kinds of questions about my life at home.

I saw no reason to lie. As far as I was concerned life was pretty good.

I told her “whenever I’m sad my grandmother gives me karate chops” This led to a full scale investigation and I was removed from the house for three days until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises.

News of this silly little story quickly spread through the school

and I earned my first nickname- pork chop.

To this day -I hate pork chops."

I’m not the only kid

who grew up this way

surrounded by people who used to say

that rhyme about sticks and stones,

as if broken bones

hurt more than the names we got called

and we got called them all,

so we grew up believing no one

would ever fall in love with us-

that we’d be lonely forever,

that we’d never meet someone

to make us feel like the sun

was something they built for us

in their tool shed,

so broken heart strings bled the blues

as we tried to empty ourselves

so we would feel nothing

don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone,

that an ingrown life

is something surgeons can cut away

that there’s no way for it to metastasize

it does

she was eight years old

our first day of grade three

when she got called "ugly"

we both got moved to the back of the class

so we would stop get bombarded by spit balls,

but the school halls were a battleground

where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day

we used to stay inside for recess

because outside was worse,

outside we’d have to rehearse running away

or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there-

in grade five they taped a sign to the front of her desk

that read "beware of dog"

to this day 

despite a loving husband

she doesn’t think she’s beautiful

because of a birthmark

that takes up a little less than half of her face

kids used to say "she looks like a wrong answer

that someone tried to erase

but couldn’t quite get the job done-"

and they’ll never understand

that she’s raising two kids

whose definition of beauty

begins with the word mom

because they see her heart

before they see her skin

becuase she’s only ever always been amazing

he

was a broken branch

grafted onto a different family tree

-adopted.

 not because his parents opted for a different destiny

he was three when he became a mixed drink

of one part left alone

and two parts tragedy

started therapy in 8th grade

had a personality made up of tests and pills

lived like the uphills were mountains

and the downhills were cliffs

four fifths suicidal

a tidal wave of anti depressants

and an adolescence of being called popper-

one part because of the pills

and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty.

he tried to kill himself in grade ten

when a kid who could still go home to mom and dad

had the audacity to tell him “get over it” -as if depression

is something that can be remedied

by any of the contents found in a first aid kit!

to this day

he is a stick on TNT lit from both ends

could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends

in the moments before it’s about to fall

and despite an army of friends

who all call him an inspiration

he remains a conversation piece between people

who can’t understand

sometimes being drug free

has less to do with addiction

and more to do with sanity

we weren’t the only kids who grew up this way

to this day

kids are still being called names

the classics were

"hey stupid,"

"hey spaz,"

seems like every school has an arsenal of names

getting updated every year

and if a kid breaks in a school

and no one around chooses to hear

do they make a sound?

are they just the background noise

of a soundtrack stuck on repeat

when people say things like

"kids can be cruel"

every school was a big top circus tent

and the pecking order went

from acrobats to lion tamers

from clowns to carnies

all of these were miles ahead of who we were

we were freaks

lobster claw boys and bearded ladies

oddities

juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle

trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal-

but at night

while the others slept

we kept walking the tightrope

it was practice

and yeah

some of us fell-

but I want to tell them

that all of this

is just debris

leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought

we used to be

and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself

get a better mirror

look a little closer

stare a little longer

because there’s something inside you

that made you keep trying

despite everyone who told you to quit

you built a cast around your broken heart

and signed it yourself

you signed it

“they were wrong!”

because maybe you didn’t belong to a group or a click

maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything

maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth

to show and tell but never told

because how can you hold your ground

if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it

you have to believe that they were wrong!

they have to be wrong...

why else would we still be here?

we grew up learning to cheer on the underdog

because we see ourselves in them

we stem from a root planted in the belief

that we are not what we were called 

we are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on some highway

and if in some way we are

don’t worry,

we only got out to walk and get gas-

we are graduating members from the class of

of we made it!

not the faded echoes of voices crying out

"names will never hurt me,"

of course...

they did

but our lives will only ever always

continue to be

a balancing act

that has less to do with pain

and more to do with beauty.

******************************************************************************

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Well...

On Sunday I felt so sick and got a grand total of 5 hours of sleep...

On Monday I was in so much pain and nausea I couldn't even sit up straight- doctors think I may have had another cyst rupture.

One of Justin's close friends from college lost his father last week, so Justin and my Father-in-law traveled the 5 hour trip both ways yesterday (Tuesday)- didn't get in till midnight.

It's Wednesday and I'm dealing with a second migraine today in four day's time,

I think I am ready for this week to be over..... It has been a very sad one.

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Becky's Baby Shower

Here is my husband's grandmother with two of her Great-granddaughters. Keziah is on the left and Ivy is on the right. Grandma Barker has 19 great-grandkids!!

Ivy is Becky's first child and the whole reason for the baby shower!

It is so sweet to see her with her great grand-babies.

Ivy with her three Great grandmothers

Keziah looking so sweet!

Liz with her first daughter Keziah

Becky starts open the gifts!

Cute little dresses

They had a bookshelf for Ivy and alot of people gave books as gifts! We gave Ivy an "Elephant and Piggie" book by Mo Willems

Soemone gave her this ADORABLE fairy outfit!

Becky's sister gave her new niece "The Velveteen Rabbit"

Someone brought books for later on too! Like Anne of Green Gables and some Jane Austen!


God bless,
Rebecca

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Skyrim

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Nothing New to Report

I have been wracking my brains all week for a new blog post but it seems that I am kind of in a writing-rut. 

Nothing really to tell you all. I have been having some unpleasant reactions to my medications. Your prayers are appreciated!! 

Life has been tough lately. I am SO OVER being sick. (Who isn't?) 

I think I am getting cabin fever from being cooped up here at home- but going out is really hard to do at the moment. I get VERY sick after going out.  :( 

I haven't even been to church in awhile and this has been incredibly depressing. I do listen to sermons when I can't go but it is not the same. 

I should add that the medication I am on right now makes me VERY depressed and emotional. So if this post sounds depressing that's why! 

Nothing new to say on my stupid ankle. The dumb thing is fighting against healing. 

Anyways- I hope you all are faring much better than I am!! 

I love you all! 

God bless, 

~Rebecca

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Health Update- Sore Neck

Time for a health update! 

So- still trying to adjust to a new brand of medicine. The new one has been making my stomach very unhappy! Trying to "tough it out" but I don't know- it's been very unpleasant. 

My ankle seems to be on the mend, who knows though? It feels great one day and the next it's throbbing. 

Dealing with a new problem of late- soreness with my neck. I wake up with it sore, go to bed with it sore. It is so strange- I can't recall hurting it. I have to sit with a neck pillow (travel pillow) because it hurts so much. I used to get stiff necks occasionally as a teen. This usually happened after an art project, especially one where my neck was bent downwards. Painting, sewing, scrapbooking and drawing has all contributed to that!  

However I haven't done any art projects of late so...not sure what is going on. I have tried heat packs, ice packs, hot showers and my TENS unit. I sleep on a special pillow for neck issues. Any suggestions? It has been like this on and off for several months now. 

Thanks! 

God bless, 

~Rebecca  

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My Sister is an Artist

Time to brag on my beautiful sister's beautiful art!
She has been creating such beautiful drawings lately! :) I just had to share!

All the artwork is by Stephanie M. age 14

This is some of her digital art.

Visit her art galleries here!

Fantasy's Dream

The-Pony-Lover

I am so proud of my sister keeping up with her art!! :)
I love checking her art galleries and seeing what is new. It makes me so happy to see her artwork and see her grow!

God Bless,
~Rebecca

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The Odd Life of Timothy Green- Film Review

The Odd Life of Timothy Green is possibly one of the most endearing films I have seen in years. 

The film is about a childless couple who dreams up what their child would be like if they could have one, and write these dreams down and bury the notes. 

Their dreams and wishes get fulfilled in a strange and odd little boy named Timothy. 

At first I thought this film was a modernized re-telling of the fairy tale Tom Thumb- but apart from a couple wishing for a child and mysteriously getting one The Odd Life of Timothy Green was definitely it's own tale.

The story line is beautifully and well written, and yes- it is a tear-jerker. It's a tale about love, parenting, making mistakes, learning from them, and striving to do better. 

This film would be enjoyable for couples, and families.   

God bless,
~Rebecca

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I FINALLY HAVE ANSWERS!

 I finally got answers to some of my health problems!!
Which is nice but at the same time lousy because it means I am sick. I have been diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease. So now I don't have to feel guilty about my fatigue, my weight that WON'T come off, the anxiety, the depression- It's not "my" fault! This is relieving.

I am on a medication right now and I am also going to try to monitor my weight, more bloodwork and follow up appointments in the spring.


So- What is Hashimoto's Disease? 

Hashimoto's thyroiditis or chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis is an autoimmune disease in which the thyroid gland is attacked by a variety of cell- and antibody-mediated immune processes ~ Wikipedia

So basically my body is attacking it's own gland.
The thyroid controls things like your energy and metabolism through hormones.

Just look at some of the symptoms! ( I have some not all of them)

Hashimoto's thyroiditis very often results in hypothyroidism with bouts of hyperthyroidism. Symptoms of Hashimoto's thyroiditis include Myxedematous psychosis, weight gain,depression, mania, sensitivity to heat and cold, paresthesia, fatigue, panic attacks, bradycardia, tachycardia, high cholesterol, reactive hypoglycemia, constipation, migraines, muscle weakness, cramps, memory loss, infertility and hair loss.Wikipedia

Read more:

Hashimoto's Disease

Hypothyroidism


I also recently found out that two of my great grandmothers, a great aunt and a great uncle just on my maternal side all had thyroid problems.

How crazy is that?

It is nice to finally have answers!

God bless,
~Rebecca

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