Have you ever suddenly noticed a quirk or trait that you have and realized how annoying it must be to other people?? I certainly have! Some of my weird behavior is very embarrassing....and here is a list of them!
1) Mimicking Accents.
Hands down this is THE MOST EMBARRASSING thing I do and I do it without even noticing it!
I watch a lot of Vloggers from around the world and after 3 or 4 videos in a row my speech becomes peppered with their accent. The same thing happens after watching a movie or playing a game where different accents appear. There are so many times I will catch myself and have to mentally correct my speech and mentally figure out pronunciations. It is so annoying.
2) Repeating Myself.
To anyone who has ever talked to me in person I do apologize. I repeat myself far too many times. Most likely a by product of growing up in a large and loud family. Talking over 9 other people is tough.
3) Talking Fast/Non Stop
This is an anxiety related habit. When I get nervous I prattle on and on. Awkward silences are the worst and I feel a burden to keep the conversation flowing just to relieve the awkwardness. Needless to say this is why I don't care for parties/social events
4) Being Over-Invested.
I place huge stock in relationships, and I do genuinely care about people. (Part of my INFJ personality!) However, when they hurt, I hurt; and sometimes the emotional toll is unbearable. In one week I had a friend experience a miscarriage, another friend having troubles finding a new house, and yet another friend having relationship problems. Needless to say I was an emotional wreck that week. I do want to care, but not to the point where I am miserable all the time.
5) Having to Be a Perfectionist
This is by far the most damaging in my opinion. This drive to be perfect/do everything perfectly is tiring! My darling husband is helping me a lot to work on this. It is still hard though. I worry that people will see an imperfection and pounce on it and berate me non-stop for having a flaw. Oh, and this trait can drive me crazy with my photography too! lol
Got any advice or thoughts that might help me? Please share!
Love,
Rebecca
As for #1 -- LOTS of people do that! I notice I do it sometimes as does my mother. I actually think it's a bit of social mirroring and trying to connect with other people!
ReplyDeleteAs for #4 - I'd strongly recommend reading Melody Beattie's book "Codependent No More" -- it's wonderful and really helps with that "I'm not okay if you're not okay" stuff. We can't be supportive to our friends and family if we get just as overwhelmed as they do with THEIR problems.
Oh, gosh, I am SUCH an Accent Mimicker! And it's not just accents, it's tone, inflection, diction -- I've done it all my life. I've never thought of it in the context of social mirroring and connecting with others, but I'm sure there is some truth to that. Currently, I find I've been watching a little too many Ellen reruns, because I'm hearing a lot of her in my voice! But yes, all my life -- anyone I'm around -- teachers, friends, You Tubers. I'm glad I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteAnd I am also a chronic Social Over-Investor. I am the first one to take on the troubles of others and am never happy until I have felt I have helped them! I hardly notice I'm doing it at the time, but then when the crisis is over, I feel a tremendous burden lifted. And I don't think I get that in return from most of my friends or family, so I always run sort-of low on the self-satisfaction gauge (for example, I was recently not invited to a friend's party for whom I had done a ton of stuff for while she was being treated for cancer, and I was very sad/embarrassed/humiliated because she lives in my neighborhood and some of my other friends were invited and it was a party to celebrate her restored health so, you know, I really should have been on the guest list -- there is no way that wasn't just completely rude). I probably need to check out the book Stephanie recommended, though I wouldn't label myself as "codependent", but maybe I am in the sense that I always feel like I need to have someone to help? I don't know.
Thanks for this insightful post, Rebecca! You are not alone in having these traits and it makes you a really neat person, I think. Generous to a fault (how many times have we heard that, right?).
Hope you are having a great day!
I totally mimic accents too! It's fun for around the house, but I'm worried that I'll do it in public! We have friends from England and from Australia, and it's so easy to catch myself talking like them after a conversation! :D
ReplyDeleteGreat post! ♥ you!