I have been having a rough weekend so I'm just going to write about it to stop thinking about it over and over. We went to Jessica's senior recital- she did a great job and I loved the music. It was held at my childhood church. I was able to overcome my anxiety enough to go but about halfway through my back started to hurt badly. I left the auditorium and snuck into the quiet room and laid down for a bit. We went to the reception and I felt a bit better. By the time we headed home my back really started aching. It's been two days and its still hurting worse than normal. Now that event was no more than two and a half hours. The same length of a Sunday morning Sunday school and service. I have been in so much pain and now I'm wondering how on earth I will be able to return to church. I can't go each week and then be in this bad pain for days. I'm so discouraged.
I worry people think I'm not at church because I'm lazy or something. I have had a few people accuse me of laziness and for "letting the pain hold you back!" It's been bothering me so much. Some people think their experiences with pain or illnesses is how everyone's experience is and how they handled is is how everyone should handle it. I hate that mentality so much. It's a very prideful opinion. Someone being sick with a cold from time to time will never know what it is like to deal with a chronic illness. Colds go away, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue syndrome, PCOS, Endometriosis etc. DON'T go away. And the people who suffer from the occasional cold KNOW their cold is not permanent so taking a few days off they can handle. Some chronic illnesses are like having a permanent cold that is NEVER going to go away, we get accused of laziness and "just exercise and diet" as the cure-all to all the diseases of life.
Why some people are downright ignorant and cruel to others who suffer from physical problems I will never understand. People want tolerance for all mankind yet nowadays people are quick to judge and attack anyone or anything that is not the norm. It's upsetting. People only want tolerance for themselves, their desires, their wants. They often could care less about others. I see it everywhere. I've even seen many Christians who exhibit these behaviors and attitudes.
You know that phrase "Don't judge people for sinning differently than you do" well I would like to add "Don't judge people for struggling differently than you" and "Don't judge people for responding to situations differently than you"
We all have our own unique struggles and trials to face in life, and because we are have unique personalities and backgrounds we are going to respond to situations in our own way. Your way works for you, but it probably won't work for others. That girl may be able to still go to work regardless of her broken leg, but someone one else might struggle more with a twisted ankle.
Some people may cling to God and their church family during trials, and some may need personal space and time to accept the situation.
All I am trying to say is- Just be kind. You never know what is going on in the private lives of people.
If you knew what their demons in life are you probably would break down sobbing. Love, support and kindness are so essential in life.
Love, Rebecca
I worry people think I'm not at church because I'm lazy or something. I have had a few people accuse me of laziness and for "letting the pain hold you back!" It's been bothering me so much. Some people think their experiences with pain or illnesses is how everyone's experience is and how they handled is is how everyone should handle it. I hate that mentality so much. It's a very prideful opinion. Someone being sick with a cold from time to time will never know what it is like to deal with a chronic illness. Colds go away, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue syndrome, PCOS, Endometriosis etc. DON'T go away. And the people who suffer from the occasional cold KNOW their cold is not permanent so taking a few days off they can handle. Some chronic illnesses are like having a permanent cold that is NEVER going to go away, we get accused of laziness and "just exercise and diet" as the cure-all to all the diseases of life.
Why some people are downright ignorant and cruel to others who suffer from physical problems I will never understand. People want tolerance for all mankind yet nowadays people are quick to judge and attack anyone or anything that is not the norm. It's upsetting. People only want tolerance for themselves, their desires, their wants. They often could care less about others. I see it everywhere. I've even seen many Christians who exhibit these behaviors and attitudes.
You know that phrase "Don't judge people for sinning differently than you do" well I would like to add "Don't judge people for struggling differently than you" and "Don't judge people for responding to situations differently than you"
We all have our own unique struggles and trials to face in life, and because we are have unique personalities and backgrounds we are going to respond to situations in our own way. Your way works for you, but it probably won't work for others. That girl may be able to still go to work regardless of her broken leg, but someone one else might struggle more with a twisted ankle.
Some people may cling to God and their church family during trials, and some may need personal space and time to accept the situation.
All I am trying to say is- Just be kind. You never know what is going on in the private lives of people.
If you knew what their demons in life are you probably would break down sobbing. Love, support and kindness are so essential in life.
Love, Rebecca
You might try just church and not try to get through SS as well.
ReplyDelete{{{{{Hugs}}}}} and a good point!
Thanks for posting this Rebecca.
ReplyDeleteI run into this too - and it's why I commit to doing very little now. I know that if I'm too sick to make it to whatever I have agreed to do someone will say I'm "lazy" or "incompetent" or a "liar" or something like that. Sigh.
I'm really glad you make it to Jessica's recital, even if you had to lay down for a bit, and I'm so sorry that you are in pain now (still) because of it.
We'll keep praying for you and hopefully a solution, even if it takes a while to get to, will make itself known.
HUGS,
Lea
Praying for you sweet Rebecca!
ReplyDeleteI know you have said your husband is very supportive of your health woes, and that is just awesome and much -needed in a sea of people that seem to think your troubles are imagined or not as serious as you portray. I know you know how lucky you are to have him.
ReplyDeleteWeed your garden, Rebecca. Get rid of the people in your life that tell you negative things about yourself. You already feel badly enough, you don't need people in your life to make you feel worse.
You will hopefully find the source of your back pain and be able to push through in order to get that resolved. Meanwhile, you can shut the negative world out for self-preservation purposes. People can say what they want, but you don't have to listen to it.
Hugs.