In just two months time it will be one year since I was diagnosed with two herniated discs in my lower back, and I am still dealing with the daily pain and physical limitations. It's been a very frustrating and at times embarrassing injury to deal with. I can't do as much as I used to and my daily life has to revolve around accommodating the limitations this injury has caused. It's been a struggle to accept the changes I have to make and to be "ok" with this. I often worry that people may judge me for being less active or less social but trust me I would be doing so much more if I physically could.
A couple days ago I thought to myself, "Wow things have actually been pretty calm lately,"
Apparently I am INCREDIBLY stupid for thinking that because barely 24 hours later I had a sharp pain in my right shoulder. I had been walking across my living room when I felt something weird happen in my upper spine and the sharp burning feeling started.
Needless to say... I am very discouraged. We have been trying so very hard lately to try to ease me into a more normal way of living and figuring out how to work around the back pain but it feels like it was all for nothing.
I want to just.... scream I guess. I am so fed up that I keep randomly getting hurt by NOTHING. I don't want to be held prisoner by my physical pain/limitations anymore, I want to start recovering!
I need prayer dear readers, I am at my wits end with all of this. I want to move forward in my life, but all these injuries make me feel like I am just sitting on the sidelines watching everybody else go by. There is SO MUCH I want to do, that I long to do. I'd be happy just to be able to walk in the store with my husband for goodness sake!
I am going to see a new back doctor next week.
If this upper back/shoulder pain turns out to be something serious I won't be able to do any photography much at all, and its already pretty low as it is.
Your prayers are much appreciated <3
With much love, Rebecca
Prayers being lifted
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}. I hope the new doctor may have some options that you haven't thought of yet.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you and your chronic back pain -- it is completely debilitating, I know. My sister was just 34 when she ended up with two herniated discs and she did everything she could to get them to heal, but finally threw in the towel after about a year and had surgery to "trim" them. It was the best thing she ever did -- immediate relief and she got her life back. Has your doctor discussed/recommended that to you as an option? If you're not working and don't have kids to chase around, and if it would potentially help you, now is a good time in life to do it and have the least impact on people who count on you to be there for them. When my sister had her surgery, she was married with a 2yo son and a fulltime job, so it was almost imperative that she finally get some relief so she could function better. And that was 17 years ago -- she's never had another problem since.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you from here, and hopes that the new back doctor will be better help to you!
Oh Rebeca! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this! I will certainly continue praying.
ReplyDeleteOne question for you: Have you done any physical therapy for your back? It might be something to look into if you haven't. My Mom has no disks in her back - she has degenerative disk disease - and doing physical therapy while she was loosing the disks made a huge difference to her. If you haven't looked into that, you might want to. (Or you can throw this suggestion right out the window if you'd like! :) )
Long distance hugs and lots of prayers!
Lea