Week 9

Tomorrow marks our 9th week in social isolation. I'm trying my best to cope.

The beginning of every new week of this pandemic is an emotionally exhausting affair. Especially coming off the heels of a major death in my husband's family; not being around to support or comfort my mother in law with losing her own mother is heartbreaking. 

About 2 weeks ago my mother in law had to get tested for COVID19. A coworker of hers had tested positive and the entire building had to be closed for cleaning. My mother in law had been feeling ill herself. After a couple days the results came back negative for COVID19. What a relief. The thought of my mother in law being seriously ill or in the worst case scenario, passing away was absolutely terrifying. I am so thankful she is okay. I love that woman with every fiber of my being. 

So far all of my immediate family are still doing okay and staying safe. After 8 weeks of closure their church is opening for services again under precautions. I'm a bit nervous for them, but glad that their church is enforcing the 6' rule, masks and no hugging or handshaking. 

I must say I feel like without getting sick, the one who has suffered the most from this pandemic right now in my family is my 21 year old sister. She had just started attending an out of state college to pursue her art degree when the pandemic hit. The college ended in person classes, and a lot of students returned home. My sister stayed because she had a job. She was able to live in the dormitories, meals were provided and online classes started up.

Now that the semester has ended my sister is back home. I feel for her with the frustrations of trying to adapt to a new environment and make new friends only for the virus to disrupt things. I really hope the pandemic ends in time for her to return to the college and continue her art degree. 

I personally have been struggling to maintain my sanity. I feel trapped in this situation and feeling trapped causes panic attacks. I know I'm not the only one who is feeling this way. I hope you all are doing okay and hanging in there. I'm finding comfort in my cat and rabbit, doing some artwork and playing my old Animal Crossing games on my 3ds. (Don't have a Nintendo Switch yet so I cant play the new Animal Crossing right now) 

Hang in there! 

Love,  Rebecca 🦋 

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Social Distancing Life

Hi everybody!

Life got really weird really fast, didn't it? As of this past Monday our state is in a shutdown, with essential workers only. Some businesses are complying... some are not (Looking at you Hobby Lobby) It's definitely soul crushing to see wealthy corporations and their owners putting profit above people. It's even more disappointing when they use God as an excuse to not take care of their employees HOBBY LOBBY. 

Before I get too upset I'll move on. My husband has been able to work from home, which I am so thankful for. His daily commute was an hour to work and an hour back. He has had a few problems with the programs randomly freezing but hopefully they can get that resolved. The literal only downside to him working from home has been that my artwork desk has been commandeered by his equipment. I was in a painting groove so it does suck a tiny bit. I'd rather have him safe at home though. 

I will definitely have to make a future post about getting back into art. I've made quite a few pieces in the past 6 months. I think my perfectionist tendencies were a big reason I stopped making art. One of my sisters is a professional artist and I think I was seeing her work as so mind-blowingly good that there was no reason for me to do art. I now realize that was a dumb mindset. 

We've been keeping in touch via groupchat with family. Video calls often get interesting once we start playing with filters (my dad loves them!) It is hard not being able to go visit my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephews and my grandparents. Same goes for Justin's side of the family. I'm so glad video calls and instant messaging exist. This pandemic is horrible and scary but at least we have ways to keep in touch with one another.

I hope you all are staying safe. This is definitely a life changing experience. I don't think things will ever return back to what we knew as "normal". Life is going to change for everyone. We will start seeing cases of extreme germaphobia, anxiety about illness, anxiety about having to go to the doctor or hospitals. Some people will develop agoraphobia or obsessive/compulsive behaviors. This pandemic is going to cause collective trauma and PTSD for people. It's going to affect our economy in the way we work and the way we behave. 

I hope for positive changes too. There is so much potential for positive changes. New advances in sanitation and medical tech and science are going to happen. Schools, businesses and churches could start figuring out ways to continue being more accessible for invalids or people who can not leave their home for other reasons. There has definitely been positive changes with levels of pollution being lowered around the world. 

COVID19 absolutely stinks. Its horrible, its killing people, leaving some survivors with permanent tissue damage, ravaging life and family. I desperately want to believe good things will happen because of this nightmare we are in. I hope it does. 

Before I forget, please keep in mind all the children and adults who are stuck in quarantine with their abusers right now. There is going to be a massive uptick of children suffering fatal injuries and adults being injured by those they are now essentially trapped with. Check in on people you know that could be at risk. Call emergency services if you suspect abuse. Click here for more info

Please, please stay safe everyone. We can and we will get through this together. Check in on your elderly neighbors, don't hoard supplies, support your local essential workers and healthcare professionals. Wash your hands. Be kind and patient ❤

Love, Rebecca

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Taking It One Day At A Time

Hello Everyone!

First off, wow things are moving really fast in my state. Within four days we went from 1 confirmed coronavirus case to 41 this morning. With the limited availability of test kits I'm certain the actual number of infected people is much higher, not only in my state but the rest of the USA.

Now that the president has finally acknowledged the severity of the outbreak I hope to see more people take it seriously. I've seen several social media posts of people ignoring the advice from the CDC and not taking this seriously. 

I already said this in my previous post but I'm going to say it again. You could feel totally healthy and absolutely fine AND be carrying the virus. The people you'd come into contact with will get mild to severe symptoms. Our grandparents, newborns, immunocompromised and cancer patients are at high risk. The coronavirus kills through pneumonia. Please be responsible.

I know for some people of faith (particularly evangelical ones) in the USA it is easy to say "oh, just trust God!" and still go to church and church functions. Yes, we are trusting God but we also need to be careful. Do we not use seatbelts? Smoke alarms? Get stitches for a deep cut? Teach our kids to not run into the road? Everyday we make choices to keep ourselves and our families safe. This is no different. 

It is not fun to be stuck at home. But its something we need to do. The faster we slow the spread down, the faster our medical services can catch up and get ahead. 

One of my Facebook friends shared this a couple days ago, and what she said has really stuck with me. We absolutely need to put denial and selfishness aside and participate in the social distancing. It is going to suck, I know. Before you know it though, it will have passed and we can resume a sense of normalcy, people who would've died will still be here. 

This is a historic event. History books will look back on us and will tell future generations if we did a good job or a bad job.  Let's let them know we did our best 

Love, Rebecc

I'm testing out writing this on mobile vs desktop.  Apologies for the differences in my format 

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Covid-19 and You

 Hello Everyone!

It seems like the Coronavirus is turning into a serious situation. 

I know its tempting to ignore it or be all "If I get it, I get it"

However I would like to encourage you all to take this pandemic seriously.

Because it can take 2 weeks for an infected person to start showing symptoms in some cases of the COVID-19, an infected person will unknowingly spread the virus. This is why the coronavirus has spread so quickly. It can appear like its a simple cold in some cases which would lead to more accidental spread. One person may have mild symptoms, but inadvertently cause infection to others that will become severe for them.

Those under the age of 12 months, over 60 years, undergoing cancer treatment, or have an autoimmune disease are at high risk. This virus spreads quickly and doesn't discriminate. Essential oils, supplements, vitamins or any other home "cure" WILL NOT PROTECT YOU. 

Literally old fashioned soap and water is the best prevention. Cover your sneeze/cough into your elbow. Avoid touching your face. Disinfect surfaces regularly. Avoid crowds of people. 

Consider canceling or postponing upcoming gatherings, church services or other events where a crowd will be. Please be careful and considerate, remember it can take two weeks for symptoms to appear. You might feel fine, go to church or a party and unknowingly infect those around you. 

Covid-19 is serious.

 Doing all we can to prevent its spread is necessary.

 The faster this thing is contained, the faster life can go back to normal.
Please don't think "you just won't get it because _______"
 For the sake of the very young, immune-compromised, the over 60 group, please be responsible.

Please visit the CDC Website for more info

Stay Calm.

Don't Panic.

Wash Your Hands.

Be Responsible.

Love, Rebecca

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/02/here-is-what-coronavirus-does-to-the-body/?fbclid=IwAR3pKhXQM3Ka3O8ml75vhFrWs_veUVVZW-939WHt5YcHgr5G6TTxKRCOl5Y

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In Memory of Grandma Nicolina

A few days after Grandma's passing I helped my mother in law and Aunt Jackie go through Grandma's old photo albums 

 Grandma Nicolina's dad was really into photography so we had a large amount of photos to sift through.

It took about 8 hours to full go through and scan all the pictures they wanted to use for Grandma's funeral service. I had no idea how amazing these pictures were going to be.

So this young boxer is my husband's Great Grandfather, Jack, Nicolina's father.

Grandma's parents, Germina and Jack. 

Grandma Nicolina as a toddler with her dad Jack. 

This photograph was taken in probably 1934 or 1935.

I can not begin to express how awesome it is to see photos of grandma as a tiny child. I am incredibly jealous! I would love seeing photos of my grandparents as children 

Grandma a bit older with her parents, Jack and Germina. 

I wish I could have see these photos before Grandma's passed, I would have loved talking to her about them.

I definitely can see that it's grandma in that tiny face 💓

 Staying warm in a New England winter!

Grandma in school. 

Grandma was raised Roman Catholic, so this is probably her first communion?

Grandma was 7 when her only other sibling, Jackie, was born

Grandma and Jackie

 As a young adult Grandma Nicolina went by her nickname "Lina"

 Grandma sitting on the front porch of the home she grew up in and would live in till the day she died. 

 Grandma, a friend and her sister Jackie.

Poppa and Grandma's engagement

Poppa and Grandma were married in 1956

Grandma with her children David, Jeffrey and Cheryl Ann.

Grandma and her kids dressed for a wedding. 

I am living for Uncle Dave's fashion in this photo ✌

Also my poor mother-in-law hated her hair do and I don't blame her!

 My in-laws as young love birds 😍 

How adorable is this??!

Justin's parents' wedding day

I love this photo of Grandma and Aunt Jackie 

Grandma with a bunch of the grandkids. My husband is the little guy she is holding! 

Look at my adorable husband and his sister as a little ones!  

Justin and his sister having a tea party with Grandma

I can't get over that adorable face 💓 

*************************************************************************

On Valentine's day (the day before she passed) I had my last interaction with Grandma. I said "Hi Grandma! Its Rebecca!" She asked "Justin's Rebecca?" I said yes and she said a happy "Oohh 😄" I gave her a kiss on her forehead and told her I loved her. I held her hand for a moment and she gently squeezed back.

       We had a beautiful service for Grandma. It was truly bittersweet. So many stories, so many tears. 

Our small church building was so full of people paying their last respects, that many had to stand. 

I think one of Grandma's greatest legacies she leaves behind are the memories of her unconditional love. It didn't matter that you were not related by blood to her. If you were around- you became her grand kid

I'm glad Grandma had a full life and made it to 86 regardless of her myriad of health problems. I am sad that she is gone and that future family members won't get to know Grandma.  I can't wait to tell them just how much she loved us all, and how special that was to me 💕

Love, Rebecca

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Grandma Nicolina

Justin's grandma sadly passed on February 15th of this year.

 I will be making a proper post soon in memory of her. 

We knew her time was drawing to a close as of December but it still seemed to arrive so suddenly. She took a bad fall on a Wednesday and was gone by Saturday. 

During the days between her fall and her passing, things were bittersweet. Family trickled in and out of Grandma's home. Quiet moments were had, tears were shed, and an occasional somber giggle at old stories could be heard.

I was able to have a brief conversation with Grandma on Thursday. She was tired but still aware of us that day. We made jokes, held hands and expressed our love for each other.

Family members took turns consoling one another,comforting Poppa, sitting with grandma or sharing thoughts. We were there, waiting, for Grandma's time to end. The feeling of not being able to do anything and having to wait reminded me so much of all the times I've waited to hear of a baby's arrival. I couldn't do anything to speed up the process or alter events. I had to just sit there and wait. We all had to wait.

Death is ugly.

Grandma's face was swollen with blood, her nose had been broken in the fall. She was bleeding from her eyes, her nose and sadly vomiting blood too. One of her eyes was swollen shut and her face was  marked with deep purple. It was sad. Heart breaking. We knew her time was coming but we didn't think it would look like this. We didn't prepare for this.

It was hard. 

As horrible and cruel as death is, it also gives us some beauty. 

In the brief moments of awareness loving words were shared. Grandma was comforting us. 

We knew Grandma wanted to pass at home and surrounded by family. It was beautiful to see her desire fufilled. My husband and I were not there when the time came but Grandma's last words were, "I'm so happy" Some of the family were gathered around singing her favorite hymns to her when Grandma's soul departed. 

Grandma died on February 15th, 2020. It was the 64th anniversary of Grandma and Poppa's first date 

We got the phone call that Grandma was gone. A mix of relief and sadness filled me. Grandma is no longer in pain, but now she is gone. The empty feeling has grown since the day she passed. Those moments remembering that I can't tell grandma that joke, or I can't give her a hug really hurt. It comes and goes. I feel so happy and grateful to have known her one moment, only to be crying later because I can not make any more memories with her.  

Grandma Nicolina

Oct 11, 1933 - Feb 15, 2020

Love, Rebecca

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Welcome 2020

We started off our New Year with friends and pancakes. It was a great way to celebrate.

 Justin's cousin Sam and her husband

Justin's cousin Mike and his girlfriend 

For lunch we joined Justin's family. We always celebrate New Years Day with them 

Grandma was telling jokes  

Justin, Jess and Gerald 

Aunt Stephanie and Grandma 

Mom made spinach raviolis, one of my favorites! 

Poppa enjoying the meal 

After lunch we exchanged gifts 

I love how we do Christmas/ New Years with my in-laws 

Jessica and G gave me my first starter Pokemon plushie! It is so soft!  

 Justin got some hot sauces. One of the sauces is from the Hot Ones Youtube series!

I made a guess with a stylized Spiderman tee shirt for Gerald. I was so excited by his reaction! I'm glad I chose that design. (don't have a photo of it to show, sorry!)

Aunt Stephanie opening gifts 

 Nessa enjoyed the day too!

On to a new year!

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