Butterfly Days Supports The Black Lives Matter Protests

Dear readers, this is my 700th post on this blog. Instead of celebrating this milestone for myself I wanted to make this post in support of our fellow Americans who have been mistreated for far too long, simply because of the color of their skin. 

What happened to George Floyd and countless other Black Americans at the hands of American police is simply disgusting and horrifying.

  Enough is enough. 

I stand with Black Lives Matter. ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

With hope for a better future, Rebecca 

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Social Distancing Life

Hi everybody!

Life got really weird really fast, didn't it? As of this past Monday our state is in a shutdown, with essential workers only. Some businesses are complying... some are not (Looking at you Hobby Lobby) It's definitely soul crushing to see wealthy corporations and their owners putting profit above people. It's even more disappointing when they use God as an excuse to not take care of their employees HOBBY LOBBY. 

Before I get too upset I'll move on. My husband has been able to work from home, which I am so thankful for. His daily commute was an hour to work and an hour back. He has had a few problems with the programs randomly freezing but hopefully they can get that resolved. The literal only downside to him working from home has been that my artwork desk has been commandeered by his equipment. I was in a painting groove so it does suck a tiny bit. I'd rather have him safe at home though. 

I will definitely have to make a future post about getting back into art. I've made quite a few pieces in the past 6 months. I think my perfectionist tendencies were a big reason I stopped making art. One of my sisters is a professional artist and I think I was seeing her work as so mind-blowingly good that there was no reason for me to do art. I now realize that was a dumb mindset. 

We've been keeping in touch via groupchat with family. Video calls often get interesting once we start playing with filters (my dad loves them!) It is hard not being able to go visit my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephews and my grandparents. Same goes for Justin's side of the family. I'm so glad video calls and instant messaging exist. This pandemic is horrible and scary but at least we have ways to keep in touch with one another.

I hope you all are staying safe. This is definitely a life changing experience. I don't think things will ever return back to what we knew as "normal". Life is going to change for everyone. We will start seeing cases of extreme germaphobia, anxiety about illness, anxiety about having to go to the doctor or hospitals. Some people will develop agoraphobia or obsessive/compulsive behaviors. This pandemic is going to cause collective trauma and PTSD for people. It's going to affect our economy in the way we work and the way we behave. 

I hope for positive changes too. There is so much potential for positive changes. New advances in sanitation and medical tech and science are going to happen. Schools, businesses and churches could start figuring out ways to continue being more accessible for invalids or people who can not leave their home for other reasons. There has definitely been positive changes with levels of pollution being lowered around the world. 

COVID19 absolutely stinks. Its horrible, its killing people, leaving some survivors with permanent tissue damage, ravaging life and family. I desperately want to believe good things will happen because of this nightmare we are in. I hope it does. 

Before I forget, please keep in mind all the children and adults who are stuck in quarantine with their abusers right now. There is going to be a massive uptick of children suffering fatal injuries and adults being injured by those they are now essentially trapped with. Check in on people you know that could be at risk. Call emergency services if you suspect abuse. Click here for more info

Please, please stay safe everyone. We can and we will get through this together. Check in on your elderly neighbors, don't hoard supplies, support your local essential workers and healthcare professionals. Wash your hands. Be kind and patient ❤

Love, Rebecca

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Finding Me

Growing up in a large family as the oldest child requires a lot more than you might realize. I absolutely love my siblings and I find them all so unique and amazing. Now that most of them are teens chatting with them is so rewarding. I love seeing their talents and personalities blossom. I am beyond blessed to know them and love them.

That being said growing up in a large family did have some challenges, especially with such a large age gap between myself and the 5 youngest ones. As a teen my sense of self, my entire identity was wrapped up in being the big sister. I was the oldest, the responsible one, and the leader.

With 5 young kids all under 10 years old during my teens I kind of was swept away in the daily routines and chores. Life centered around getting stuff done and keeping the household afloat. There were diapers to change, food to cook and laundry to fold. It didn't help that all this was during the Great Recession  which came with its own challenges on our family. Combining the stress of a couple little ones potty-training or in diapers, going through my high school education, my mother being in a second car accident (which compounded her chronic back injury) and dealing with the unforgiving nature of the recession (which included my dad getting laid off) it was a trying time. 

When I got married in 2011 and moved out from the home things were changing. The recession was ending, my dad had been in a new job for a while and life calmed down. The kids were older and the youngest was in Kindergarten.

Even with the bliss of married life I was still struggling. I had no identity beyond being a big sister and a second mom. My interests, my tastes, even my hobbies centered around that family unit. I did somethings on my own as a teen and young adult but not near this level of freedom. I wasn't used to complete solitude for 8+ hours every single day. I was used to the chaos and noise of my family.

Now here I was thrust into married adulthood and boy was I lost. I had never experienced such a level of independence before or of not having to answer to an authoritative figure or spend time caring for a toddler. I wasn't required to "answer to" my spouse because we were equal partners. My opinions mattered as much as his. I could say no to things. I wasn't used to that. I wasn't used to making my own choices with a partner. It was weird and I didn't know how to handle it.

I would get so anxious expressing my opinions or arguing against or for something. I was waiting to get in trouble for being obstinate or stubborn. I didn't though. I wasn't in a parent/child relationship anymore. I was in an equal married one. I could say how I felt about things. 

Over the years I've journeyed into finding who I am. I know it is so "cliche" but I literally didn't know me. I began to find my own tastes in movies, music, topics, hobbies and likes. I started to learn how to be a wife. Not just “being a wife” but specifically Justin's wife. We learned how to communicate to each other and love each other.  

I also learned that I really suck at adulting. I don't like some of it. I've also realized that for all the blustering and pomp every other adult is “winging it” just like we do. What is adulting? Who knows! 😂 

Its okay that I feel lost in it all. I don't need to be perfect and know everything RIGHT NOW. I feel more confident now at 29 than I did at 21 or 24 or 26 and so on. I'm still lousy at this adulthood business but at least I'm not alone and figuring it all out with my husband is great.

Long story short? You aren't going to figure out life in your 20s, and that's okay. It's very rare that anyone does. Take your time and learn how to just be you.

Love, Rebecca

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Stuff and Things

My absence from this blog for about a month now was unintentional and partly due to boredom I suppose. I don't think blogging is quite as popular now as it was when I first started and it does occasionally feel like I'm talking into a empty room. I used to get reader interaction all the time which made blogging quite enjoyable for me but now it's very rare. 

I still have lots of thoughts I'd love to share on current events and topics but I'm hesitant to attract negative attention because of the opinions I have. Not to mention anything you write on the internet stays forever, and some people LOVE to dredge up old and abandoned ideas people have expressed in the past and harass them. Because people obviously have no ability to change their opinion on something after 5+ years (*sarcasm*)

Anyways, I hope to be posting again soon once I get over this complaining mood 😐

Love, Rebecca

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A Practical Guide to Facebook

Ah Facebook...... A very controversial topic for many Christians. 

Some love it, and some hate it.

Some call it useful, and some call it evil. 

While Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with out-of-state friends and families, some people have found nothing but grief with the popular networking giant.

Is there a way to enjoy the benefits of Facebook without the downfalls? I think there is! With that being said here is my tips on Facebooking in a healthy and happy way!


A Practical Guide to
 facebook 



1. Choose Your Privacy Settings Carefully!
Privacy is extremely important to a safe and pleasant FB experience! You should take time to familiarize yourself with the privacy settings section. You can also customize what appears on your News feed for each individual "Friend". This is great for those family members who you want to be friends with, but post less-then-tasteful things.  Another point is to never post about being away from home. This has lead to numerous safety issues.


2. Avoid Friend Requests From People You Don't Know!
With only the rare exception it is not wise to accept friend requests from people you don't know personally. This can lead to privacy and safety issues.


3. Be Wary With Friends Who Are "Facebook Police"! 
These are the kind of people who pick on every little thing that "upsets" them, or that they disagree with. An illustration is a person who sees a quote they think is inspiring - like this one:

"A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people."

Pretty good  and truthful quote right? So this person goes and posts it on their wall... and then someone comes along and reads the quote, and comments- "That quote is by Gandhi! He was a terrible person, and a pedophile, and he was a Hindu! How can you quote him????"  The person who posted the quote had no clue who wrote it and now they are being berated online.  These kind of "friends" cause trouble and grief. The person causing the fuss is a "Facebook Police", being impolite and displaying the "Holier-then-thou" attitude.   

The practical thing to do with FB police is to remove them as a friend, and don't accept friend requests from people known for causing trouble.



4. Don't Be The "Facebook Police"!
This is very important. If you feel it is necessary for you to be correcting, criticizing, complaining and judging on every single solitary thing that you don't like on someone else's wall then Facebook is NOT for you. Be respectful- it is impossible for every single person you know to agree with you on everything. People are going to have their own thoughts and opinions.
There is a proper way to handle real problems.



5. If There is a Serious Problem, Handle it Politely
Now there are times when something is genuinely wrong and problems arise. If you sense a genuine problem, contact the person over private message or talk to them personally with kindness. An example of this is someone who swore/ posted an improper photo or improper video.
If the improper behavior continues simply remove the person from your friends list.


6. Handle a Teen friend's Improper Behavior Practically
While one father choose to shoot nine rounds in to his daughter's laptop because of her swearing on Facebook there is a less drastic way to handle a serious issue with one of your teen aged friends. If you see a teenager who is behaving improperly on FB, privately message them. Be polite and kind.  Contact the parents or the Youth Pastor is the issue is serious enough.


7. Don't be Stupid and Use Common Sense!
People often forget that what you post is read and seen by all your friends on FB. Just because you are "safe behind your computer screen" never merits crazy behavior. Teens I am especially talking to you. Your Mom may not have a Facebook account- but that is NO EXCUSE to swear or be rude. Photos with improper content are unnecessary. You aren't Gansta -you are a jerk.  


8.  Be Sensible.
You may love that movie or book sooooo much!! But if you know that someone has an issue against the book or movie, do the sensible thing and refrain from posting about it.


9. Post Photos Thoughtfully
Got that awesome group shot you want to upload?? "Ooh... but Suzy has a weird expression...."
If you choose to upload don't tag unflattering photos of your friends. If they request it be removed, be kind and remove it! I have had to do this a few times. :)  


 10. And Finally.... THINK!!
always think before you post!! :)

These are just somethings I have learned from my experiences with Facebook.
Facebook has the potential of being either a great resource, or a headache...
Not because Facebook is "evil" but because someone was being stupid.
Facebook itself doesn't cause problems anymore then a spoon makes a person fat, or a pencil makes spelling errors. The ONLY REASON for all FB problems is- someone was being stupid.  FB is a great tool for keeping in touch, finding coupons, posting photos of the grandkids for your out-of-state mother, or for keeping in touch with relatives and friends you haven't seen in years. There is a way to Use Facebook practically and safely!

Happy Facebooking!!

God bless,
~Rebecca

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