I think I've decided to take this blog into a new direction. I've pretty
much avoided writing any opinion or thought provoking posts on my blog
due to not wanting to attract negative attention or "expose" my honest
feelings on topics to my friends and family. There is also the fact that
my personal opinions are subject to change and grow and I don't want to
have something I wrote ages ago be bashed over my head, especially if
my thoughts have since changed.
Maybe these feelings are coming about because of recent birthday. Turning 29 has hit me. I'm truly not a child anymore. I still think of myself as an idiot 16 year old though. I lack a lot of confidence in who I am and what I am. My mom was pregnant with baby #3 by 29, while I'm an anxious pile of person that struggles to accomplish basic adult responsibilities (still not driving)
Maybe these feelings are coming about because of recent birthday. Turning 29 has hit me. I'm truly not a child anymore. I still think of myself as an idiot 16 year old though. I lack a lot of confidence in who I am and what I am. My mom was pregnant with baby #3 by 29, while I'm an anxious pile of person that struggles to accomplish basic adult responsibilities (still not driving)
I
know I'm not the only 29 year old to struggle with feeling lost in life,
I remind myself of this often. People who look like they have it
together are just that- they LOOK like they have it together. I probably
look way more competent than I feel.
Struggling with anxiety and panic attacks definitely adds to my feelings of inadequacy and failure. I've been seeing a therapist once a month and it's been very nice. It's great to be able to talk things out or just complain without judgement.
All joking aside, it has been very good for me. It has helped me
understand my anxiety problems and why I have them in the first place. I
still get panic attacks but I can recognize what's happening much
quicker and decrease the length of the attack. That's very nice.
Well, here's to my last year in my 20s
Love, Rebecca
Struggling with anxiety and panic attacks definitely adds to my feelings of inadequacy and failure. I've been seeing a therapist once a month and it's been very nice. It's great to be able to talk things out or just complain without judgement.
Well, here's to my last year in my 20s
Love, Rebecca
Rebecca, just wanted to send you a note of encouragement and say I feel the same way you do - I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others and thinking they have the perfect life and mine is terrible. It's hard to fight those thoughts but we have to. Practicing mindfulness has been helpful to me. I applaud that you are being proactive about your anxiety. It took me a long time to get to that place. I always enjoyed reading your blog and will continue to follow. Your struggle is an inspiration to others in similar situations.
ReplyDeleteI like this new direction! Happy Easter.
ReplyDeleteGod is strong enough to handle our questions and our growing into our authentic selves. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteYears form now, if you change your opinion about something - and you will - and someone wants to call you on it, the response to their challenges is that was then, this is now. You have grown since then. You have changed since then. You have gained life experience since the time that you held those old beliefs. With maturity comes insights that you don't have when your world view and life experiences are young and fresh and naive. And that's okay. It's in those young, fresh moments that dreams are born.
ReplyDelete